Hanging Up My Idol

Today I'm sharing something very personal. Why? Not to gain praise please, but to share with you the true life struggles of my flesh and my heart and I truly truly want you to see what kind of transforming work God can do with us and is doing with me.

 

This week past week I had a week of conviction. Not one that is unfamiliar to me though. Most of you who know me know my passion and NEED for fitness. It is exactly that. It is a passion of mine. I love to be active, it makes me feel alive, it makes me feel strong, it makes me feel healthy and energetic. It is however a need. I need to exercise because it's a portion of my life that I have decided to control. It's the portion of my life that I honestly don't trust God with. My fitness is done out of love and yet out of fear. Fear that if I don't I won't maintain my weight or an image that I'm comfortable with.
You know I've actually been having an ongoing tug-of-war with God for the about a year and half over this issue. He would challenge me with it and I would either make excuses why it wasn't good for me to stop my activities or I just chose to hold on to controlling it because I feared God's dream for my body was not what my dream was.
Some time ago a wise and Godly friend found me in my struggle and suggested something that has stuck with me. She said, "You know Stephanie, the things we build on our own God leaves us to maintain on our own and the things we give to Him to build he maintains them for us". Well that would take the pressure off but again, I wasn't yet believing that God would maintain my body the way I wanted.

Habakkuk 2:18

Of what value is an idol since a man has carved it? For he who makes it trusts in his own creation. He makes idols that cannot speak.

Fast forward a year and half.....
This conviction of needing to give up my physical activity that I love so much is weighing so heavy on me. That's called conviction of the Holy Spirit. Enough wondering if this is really what God is asking me to do. Enough making excuses that it's healthy so he wouldn't take away something that is healthy. As I fell to tears several times this week I recognized that if giving something up brings me to tears and is so hard to do.....it's an idol. Yes. An Idol.
Although not a statue, not a pillar or false god it is a stronghold in my life that creates a barrier between me completely yielding my whole self (body) to God. It is an idol because it's so painful to give up.
Here's the thing I can say about idols (of whatever form they may take in your life). The act or action or item is not necessarily the idol. The idol is in the way we treat it. Is it our? Are we taking ownership of it? Could we give it up if we were asked? Is it taking priority over God in your life? Only each of us as individuals can answer this. This is an intimate conversation between us and God.
So, I have shed my tears this week about giving up my idol. Handing it over to God. Trusting that he will be enough for me and that my desires for me would line up with his desires for me as I commit to a time of "rest" for my physical body. Yes, I'm hanging up my running shoes, biking shoes, Shaun T. shoes, Gillian Michael shoes, and TRX shoes.
I believe that God will return this activity to me at the time when my heart is right, when I can fully live in the love and joy of who God has made me outside of what I look like, what I feel like and what activity I have done. So, don't be sad for me. My God shall supply all my needs according to his riches in glory (Philippians 4:19).
For those of you who don't know God in a way that you see this request of God as a blessing. I challenge you to see it that way. God wants more for us than we can provide for ourselves. Me stuck in the "but it's good for me and God shouldn't ask me to give something I enjoy up" is only hindering me from experiencing something new waiting for me. When God returns things and rewards obedience he does it 10 fold! I don't do it for the reward but I know his providence will be greater than this sacrifice!

Psalm 19:9-11

The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous. They are more precious than gold, sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb. By them are your servants warned; in keeping them there is great reward!

On a closing note. I recall the words that Lord spoke to us the Sunday before we left. God spoke through Chester to us and his words said that  we will have to die to ourselves. That we would have to give up something that was close to us. God's words is truth. We have seen a portion of this word come to life. What God says will happen. I can no longer wrestle with this thought, it is what God is requiring of me.

So here's our warning.....

2 Kings 17:12

They worshiped idols, though the Lord had said, "You shall not do this." The Lord warned Israel and Judah through all his prophets and seers: "Turn from your evil ways. Observe my commands and decrees, in accordance with the entire law that I commanded".

Here's the result......

2 Kings 17:40

They would not listen however, but persisted in their practices. Even while these people were worshiping the Lord, they were serving their idols. To this day their children and grandchildren continue to do as their fathers did.

And the promise we already mentioned...

Psalm 19:11

....in keeping them there is great reward!